Author Topic: Band reveiws  (Read 936 times)


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Band reveiws
« on: December 24, 2006, 04:52:25 PM »
Hometown: Vermontville, MI
Genre: NuMetal

Ah, NuMetal. All but abandoned by record labels and all but forgotten by tastemakers. Upon whom may we place the laurel of blame for this dead genre? Korn? Limp Bizkit? Does it even matter? With its skittering double-bass drums, seven-string guitars and five-string bass, NuMetal captured the limited imagination of suburban white youth and gave voice to their dubious angst.

Brittany dumped you? RRRAAAAAGGGHHH!!

Mom took away your Playstation? EEEAAARRRRGH!!

Uncle touched your bathroom thing? BINK DUBBADUBBA BINK BINK!!

Just because the tide has long since gone out on NuMetal doesn?t mean there aren?t plenty of small towns throughout the Midwest still swimming in stagnant pools of rap/rock brine. The ?Judgment Night? soundtrack came out in 1993, but NuMetal took several years to rumble its way into the suburbs of Mid-America on Ozzy Osbourne?s arthritic shoulders. Like grunge before it, it will take several more years to leave.

Case in point: this week?s band in The Barrel.


Forum member iaingillis had this to say:

What makes it all worth it. I just love it when bands post pictures of all the "hotties" that show up at their gigs, so that when you make fun of them, they can retort with: "Oh yeah, well, how many chicks show up at your gigs with your band name written on their chests with a Sharpie? Well, how many, FAG?!" On a side note, that kid in the red shirt looks like he has never been in closer proximity to a girl in all his life, except for maybe his older sister, but she was sleeping at the time, so he doesn\'t count that.

Bloodletting\'s Groupies

Forum bandit Voice of Reason says

Through the e-smoke and e-mirrors, one might be fooled into believing that you have stumbled upon a musical revolution. This, of course, is assuming you\'re deaf, stoned, or one of the members\' girlfriends. The rest of us, of course, could smell the shite pile known as Bloodletting from outer space.

It\'s quite difficult to accurately describe this band without translations of their own words.

"the band felt relocation might lead to new inspiration, and help rekindle a smoldering torch....after years of Michigan winters, the sunny beaches of Florida led Baker, Floyd, and Pinckney to Jacksonville in November of 2002....Early November 2003, Bloodletting moved their newly remodeled and finely tuned band back to their hometowns in Mid-Michigan."

They moved to Florida, failed miserably, and returned home to the the garage that spawned them.

Chris has no formal training in vocals, but spent 3 years in the percussion section of his high school band

As a singer, Chris makes a mediocre 4th drummer.

They break the boundaries of conventional black or speed metal, marching forward with previously untapped creative avenues.

They sound like every other bad metal band you\'ve ever heard, but somehow even worse.

Bloodletting or phlebotomy, is a surgical practice dating back to antiquity. ?Bad blood?, thought to contain demons that wished ill fortune on one?s life, was drained or leeched, in order to remedy various sickness and disease.
A name that felt oh-so appropriate to a group of aspiring young musicians, with a new found release for their personal demons and bad blood.

They are experts at leeching off friends and relatives.

But enough about bad bio. Let\'s move onto the music, through which they "start a new revolution".

The Music

OK. Let\'s not. About 20 seconds into Real Eyes ("Realize. Its a play on words. Get it?" they say. ) I realized they sounded like every other awful nu-metal shitbox band with delusions of grandeur. I would have noticed sooner, but I was talking to someone for the first 18 seconds.

OK, how about image?


As Crouching Angry Guy and Far Left Dazed Stare D00d display, there\'s not enough farmer\'s tans in metal today. Middle Back Mongoloid Man displays his i-need-to-shit-sooooo-bad look, while Upside Down Mop Dufus tries soooo hard to look like a tough guy, but comes off with all the manliness of a homosexual Peewee Herman. As a group, they answer the age-old question "What has 8 legs and an IQ of 14?".

If you love your metal without all that cumbersome talent, originality, or emotion, then this is the band for you my friends. As their main page announces, you only need to go as far as "Detriot" for the a new "begining".

Payback had this on his mind

A tasteful blend of melodic harmonies combined with a modern hard-core edge hardly describes Bloodletting.

again with the "tasteful," and this time it hardly describes the band.

as in, "if you think you know \'tasteful,\' you haven\'t heard Bloodletting! these goofballs REDEFINE the definition of TASTEFUL! This is not your father\'s tasteful!"

chopinzghost stated

"follow me" is an absolutely amazing conglomerate of metal clichés - like they took 100 famous metal tunes, cut \'em up, put \'em in a hat, and then randomly assembled a song out of the pieces. there are chromatically meandering power chords, cookie monster vocals, maiden-like chucking patterns in figures of 3, and the ever-popular two beat dead stop that we all know all too well. i even heard what sounded like a phrygian nod to tool in there. and lets not forget to do some pseudo-timesig-shifting synchopations on the bass and snare when we can. all in all, sounded like they\'ve got all the bases covered in terms of being as unoriginal as can be imagined, and equally as uninspired.

Forum tire slapguts said

We will be preforming at the Emergenza Music Festival begining in March.

Ah, the Emergenza. The Crown Royale of Battle of the Bands. They\'re playing a crappy show, in a boring venue they could have booked themselves, and it\'s COSTING them $70 to do it.

Philip J Hurtchow echoed

Did you guys know that bands are forced to pay $75 to play the exclusive Emergenza festival? It\'s the tooth.

ermghoti fired up the owning machine thusly

Once in a great while, one encounters a band who grows beyond thier influences, expands the horizons or thier genre, and stakes new ground in uncharted musical territory.

Far more often, you run into a quad of 19 year old dildos from the midwest like Bloodletting.

One could page through the collection of band photos, and giggle endlessly at pasty 104 lb slackjaws trying thier damnedest to look like hardasses. The list of inconsequential venues on the calender is somewhat amusing. The meandering, gladhanding drivel that is the band\'s bio certainly generates chuckles. Even the expert web design that causes the sparsely site to display off the sides of a 1024x768 desktop hints at the lack of effort contained within.

However, the above comedic tidbits bow in redfaced shame before the lafftastic main course: the music of Bedwetting.

Nothing says "we are all pro" like a link to a free site for music hosting. Once my eyes stopped rolling, I clicked the first offering. I was treated to a cacophany of triggered, sleepy-left-foot double bass drumming, downtuned guitars apparently played through budget practice amps, and recorded directly to a soundcard, incomprehensible, distorted cookie monster vocals (rendering the language advisory pitifully unnecessary), and bass mixed far enough down so as to not interfere with the other production flaws. In short, exactly the half-assed approach that one would expect to find on a Soundclick link. I certainly hope this crap was a home recording, because if these boobs paid a studio to do this, they will be finding red spots on thier toilet paper for years to come.

A tasteful blend of melodic harmonies combined with a modern hard-core edge hardly describes Bloodletting

Not only hardly describes, but doesn\'t describe at all. "Taste," "melodic," and "harmonies" are each words that no sane person would mention in a review of this numetal doodling, unless preceded by the words "devoid of." Take a good, long, hard look at the photo from the press kit. A kid with a string mop on his head. Guy in front too ashamed to look at the camera. The sound you imagine while laughing at this spectacle is exactly what emits from your speakers when you play the MP3\'s.

In short,in a genre that emphasizes rawness and power, Bedwetting conjure all the metal energy that a Sigfreid and Roy honeymoon video could offer.

Whatever the level of pathetic is, that enduces even the purveyors of such a feeble effort to admit thier failure, apparantly is exceded by the delusions of adequacy suffered by... Bloodletting!

TammyHagar opined the following

You never make any sense, all you do is fuck with me
how can I deny a sense that feels so right
that when I purge and gluttonize
from the young and poor deprived
Its not that I?m a spiteful man
I can accept the blame
But all the tendencies that frighten you
could drive a man insane

That when he purges and gluttonizes from the young and poor deprived, WHAT? I am sitting on the edge of my seat, feeling his words in my SOUL and I need to know what happens! I wasn\'t even aware that it was possible to gluttonize someone, so you can imagine how I feel sitting here with my ass half off my chair, palms sweating, tears of empathy streaming down my face, anticipation heavy on my chest, waiting for the next lyrical gem to drop. Sure, maybe people read these lyrics and think "Wow. That makes such little sense, I feel a feel a little stupider now that I\'ve read it." But they don\'t get it, man. "Words" don\'t have to "make sense" in "songwriting". All they have to do is convey the True Emotional State of the author - and I think they\'ve accomplished that quite well. Add a shirtless guy, a spaghetti head, and a rabid following of 7 husky ladies, and you\'ve got gold, baby. Pure gold.

jackassrock wraps things up with this

Chas plays a candy-apple red 5 string Vester bass, with D\'Adario xlt strings. A 15" Black Widow in a Peavy TNT. With no formal training.

I am at a loss as to why the bass sounds like crap!


See you next week when another band gets their turn in The Barrel.


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Band reveiws
« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2006, 07:50:19 PM »



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« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2006, 10:16:29 PM »
Thanks for the Christmas present Mr Vexer. The whole family throughly enjoyed the lead to the RRC site. The "Hall of Douchebags" is a present we will enjoy for many many years to come. Freaking PRICELESS!!!!


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« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2006, 04:18:25 PM »
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« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2006, 04:19:03 PM »
Just trying to help out the Russian spammers.
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